The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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