Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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