The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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