The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
