So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
