it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
