i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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