I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
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