sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
