I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
