Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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