if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
