he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
