Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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