Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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