i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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