got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
