the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Let's get the cat blown out
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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