I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
