TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
