I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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