Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
