If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
