I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
