I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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