WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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