The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
