He asked to "fluff my boner.."
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
