so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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