You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
