So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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