maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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