Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
