if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
