I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
