operation harelip BJ is a go
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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