he puts the penis in happiness.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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