I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize