one might say we're banned from that church
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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