i just google imaged poop.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Randomize
