You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
