Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
