she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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