I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
