I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
