apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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