Don't you send me to vm
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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