Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
