and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
