Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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