Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
