and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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