I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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