Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
