If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
