i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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