he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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