My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
