i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
