That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
