It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I need to calm my uterus...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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