Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
